An early song I remember writing after a day at work years ago that left me feeling pretty hopeless. Just wanted to sing it again.
I’m playing my guitar again. This is the first of two new songs. Not sure I’ll keep the title but whatever. Lyrics are below.
An awful shame to witness. Even God turns away. Lonesome soul drifting the dark, I need you to be saved. Just look how far you go. How deep the blade sinks in. Pretending you’re not lower than you’ve ever been. Where far enough is death. Where spill your veins fills up your head. So deep the blade sinks in. Lower than you’ve ever been. Take me back, I beg you. Remember this age. I have the faith your looking for. When life was not all pain. Take me back, I beg you. Remember my face. The love you were deserving of Has not and will not change. Take me back, I beg you. Remember this age. I have the faith you’re dying for. When life was not all hate. Take me back, I beg you. Remember my face I have the faith you’re dying for. Believe it’s not too late. It’s not too late.
“To know me seems an unspeakable demand.” – I wrote this while thinking about how at 31 I ended up friendless and blatantly ignored by the people I do exist around. I try to reach out and it’s always a dead end. Best thing I could do was write a song about this constant and try to ignore how it won’t change. People aren’t the reason I choose to keep living.
“Hate all you want to hate, I have the final say”… I wrote this last year as I processed a response I received about my music. Someone mistakenly assumed I had the same insecurities about my voice that they lived with and it got me thinking about all the times we have to endure unasked for critiques of our art. I don’t go around looking for people to tell them how bad I think their work is. It’s truly going out of my way to do that. If you don’t like something, I say keep it moving until you find something worth your time and comment…lol Anyway, I’m happy with this piece and the challenge it was to record performing it and I want to share.
This videos is a few months old and the song, several years old, but I wanted a better video performing it. Most of my song lyrics are reworked lines right out of my journals. Years back when I was still looking for work, my days were spent writing little songs like this at my piano to pass the time and help me keep my sanity for being alone so many hours.
So different from my other songs and I loved arranging this one for the challenge it was. Initially I was going to leave it without vocals, but I had lyrics I’d written around the end of the year that seemed to fall into place perfectly with the sound so I went with it.
Recorded this song on a hot day back in September last year. The subject relates to the routine of how I experience the jobs I’ve had and the people I’ve seen along side me. The wearing away of the spirit in ways and how little things change or get better over time in dealing with people in charge.
I wrote this song when I was 17 and just wanted to play it again. The words won’t make any sense but neither did I at 17…lol Free studio version https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/track/the-cold-2
You Have My Wings – I recorded this video about 2 months ago. The song is 7+ years old. Something I just wanted to share as I go through other old demos and see what I might want to re-work some day when there is time again. Free recorded version: https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/track/you-have-my-wings
This song is 10+ years old. Studio version is about 2yrs old now and has added bells…lol and backing vocals. I wish I could do more and be better. Some things will just always be out of my reach and I’m still figuring out how to live with that: https://open.spotify.com/track/2tZoHqj7Wrc2dCvFsgR7jk?si=8258beaaf3c04476