Tag: therapy

Quittance

Posted on by Allyson

This song was written about two years ago when I had to terminate with my long time therapist. I grieved. The video is almost as old and I hadn’t wanted to share until now.

Lyrics:

The only one willing to reach.
To speak when I could not breathe.
Through the past, through the pain.
Through nevers and need.
The only one willing to reach for me.

I’m sorry I lingered so long.
Between on the mend and something else wrong.
It’s under my skin. This unwelcome end.
Sick with shame to return where I’ve been.

But oh so still for the moment.
To say and not believe I’m well.
This sore bones, nightmare flavored rest.
This beaten silly kind of blessed,

Is under my skin, urging violence.
My own turn. Can’t I let go?
For as far as I’ve come – for however healed –
Alive as I am is not home.
Can’t I let go?

Another loss. I blame myself.
Grieving the loss. Hating what’s left.
No one stays is all we know.
My own turn. I’m letting go.
I’m letting go. I’m letting go.
All I know. Alive as I am is not home.
My own turn. I let go.
I let go. I let go.

Wandering

Posted on by Allyson

During a session I spoke about how I’ve felt like I’ve been flying above searching for a safe place to land. And as I grow tired, I’ll eventually drop from the sky to my death. This vision is what the lyrics are about. The piano arrangement came first and I sat it aside about 5 years until I finally worked it out with vocals.

I took flight a lifetime ago.
Through storm after storm and the impossible
With no question of my strength.
Survival I can’t shake, ever searching for home.

And if I reach, it will not be as I hoped.
And I will be no less here alone

Wandering loss of time.
Fail me, my wings may as well let me fall from the sky
As dim and dying light.
I only ever had the heart to try.

And if I reach, it will not be as I hoped
And I will be no less here alone.
I took flight a lifetime ago
Ever searching and searching for home.
I took flight a lifetime ago.
Ever searching for home.