Another guitar piece from late summer. Music is one of very few safe spaces for my honesty. Shameful how dark at times, but turning away is not an option as long as I’m here.
A song almost 10 years old now, but I wanted to see if I could still sing it.
I wrote this song when I was 17 and just wanted to play it again. The words won’t make any sense but neither did I at 17…lol Free studio version https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/track/the-cold-2
Songs straight from my old journal writings during the worst years. I wasn’t well at all, but glad to have had my piano then to help me pass the time. Free download on my bandcamp along with the other Entries collections: https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/…/3rd-entries-in-my…
I haven’t recorded this song yet and not set on a title either, but this is a demo. I cut some of the original lyrics and set them aside for something darker. What’s left was a better fit for a piano based arrangement.
What am I for?
Sometimes sadness is just breathtaking.
– You tell me “Let go.
God will show. Have some hope. Be grateful.”
But I know it never did and never will work.
I feel cold. I sink low.
The shadow of fear grows.
There is no way to hold without hurt.
It never was and never will be worth
one more day. –
This painting was freehand, acrylic and watercolor.
Today it was painfully obvious what little still keeps me grounded, why I keep going through the motions of showing up where I’m expected and put on the right face in front of the right people. Really, what still matters to me seems like nothing more than loose change better off thrown away with the receipt. Nobody’s really hearing me. I just wish I didn’t still care.