My entry for 2023 contest. I wrote this after leaving my job of 5+ years last year. I think my music in general is too dark for what they’re looking for in a winner, but it’s fine. I really have no show to put on for them or anyone else at this point.
Lyrics : Cutting losses, speak my bones. If it’s my fault, you should have known. But who ever sees me? Who is warm to the cold? I’m here dying all alone.
Feel the thought tear from inside. Having to lie and lie and lie. I matter more kept in the dark. Waste what remains of my heart,
Because who ever saw me? Who was warm? Who was warm to the cold? I was here dying all alone. You never saw me. Never warm for the cold. I was here dying all alone.
Burning bridge, you are a gift. I hurt and want nothing more from the end. Burning bridge, you are a gift. I hurt and want nothing more from the end.
Free download at link. Not as lyrically heavy as the last one, or as the next will be, but I had to fit this image. The album art is one of the last real paintings I took time with and it leaves me a little more hopeful I can start painting again one day the way I most loved to when I look at it. That freedom I really miss.
“To know me seems an unspeakable demand.” – I wrote this while thinking about how at 31 I ended up friendless and blatantly ignored by the people I do exist around. I try to reach out and it’s always a dead end. Best thing I could do was write a song about this constant and try to ignore how it won’t change. People aren’t the reason I choose to keep living.
“Hate all you want to hate, I have the final say”… I wrote this last year as I processed a response I received about my music. Someone mistakenly assumed I had the same insecurities about my voice that they lived with and it got me thinking about all the times we have to endure unasked for critiques of our art. I don’t go around looking for people to tell them how bad I think their work is. It’s truly going out of my way to do that. If you don’t like something, I say keep it moving until you find something worth your time and comment…lol Anyway, I’m happy with this piece and the challenge it was to record performing it and I want to share.
This videos is a few months old and the song, several years old, but I wanted a better video performing it. Most of my song lyrics are reworked lines right out of my journals. Years back when I was still looking for work, my days were spent writing little songs like this at my piano to pass the time and help me keep my sanity for being alone so many hours.