Freehand painting on a scrap piece of brown paper bag one Sunday. I miss painting eyes and weird abstract stuff and this little piece brought some life back in me to return to what I love. I feel swamped with the amount of music I have to mix between working full time and finding spare moments to paint creatively is impossible right now. Then I ask myself what the point in bothering with any of this is anymore. I’m nobody and will always be nobody. Facts. Despite this though, it would feel like a crime to not follow through on these ideas I’ve already spent so much time on. If I still believe it’s worth those moments of attention and stress to see them through, then I have to keep going. I’m structuring a plan to tackle the mixing and final edits with the time I have and will even take off a few days to make sure it’s done right if I run into problems. And I’m excited to be able to share it all too still. Yes, there are still things to look forward to.
I took these last Saturday morning from the back yard.
My mother has a small poster with this saying on it. I made my own version, painted the background, inserted the text. It’s no good when the weight of all the things I hate having to do begin to smother out the few things I love. When the money is not good enough and recognition is weak and people are jerks because they’re better at nothing else and you put up with a few too many things you just shouldn’t have to put up with…I have to spend a decent amount of time talking myself down. It’s a real shame. Life is already short enough for us humans. It shouldn’t be this hard for one to stay.