This videos is a few months old and the song, several years old, but I wanted a better video performing it. Most of my song lyrics are reworked lines right out of my journals. Years back when I was still looking for work, my days were spent writing little songs like this at my piano to pass the time and help me keep my sanity for being alone so many hours.
– You tell me “Let go.
God will show. Have some hope. Be grateful.”
But I know it never did and never will work.
I feel cold. I sink low.
The shadow of fear grows.
There is no way to hold without hurt.
It never was and never will be worth
one more day. –
This painting was freehand, acrylic and watercolor.
Today it was painfully obvious what little still keeps me grounded, why I keep going through the motions of showing up where I’m expected and put on the right face in front of the right people. Really, what still matters to me seems like nothing more than loose change better off thrown away with the receipt. Nobody’s really hearing me. I just wish I didn’t still care.