Art, Photos, Music, some thoughts…
Slowly getting back to editing my trail photos. I’ll add more to my shop as I go. Beyond that…I’m really enjoying the new Evanescence album Sanctuary. It offers safety where I’ve become so frustrated with my life and the strange, uncomfortable thing it feels like to me right now. So anyway. New music of my own finally coming together in an album soon too. Good work to keep me busy.
I went off the regular trail, down to the water. Shots from here have made for some great new prints.
I’m at the beginning of medical leave from work. When death becomes the only sure rescue from what your mind endures, I’d say it’s beyond burnout. I wish I’d said something sooner, but we’re trained to minimize problems and suffer on and on no matter what. Now I don’t care what happens to me, for what I’ll miss or for what’s left unfinished. I have a long way back.
Photo taken on a walk at the trail.
I’ve had the past week off work and have accomplished much of what I wanted. Wishing I’d made it two weeks for how much I don’t want to go back, but I’m solid in the decision to leave. It may be messy but remaining in a harmful environment until the time is “just right” isn’t realistic at this point.
My birthday came and went this year. It’s settled in just how much of an afterthought I am to others in this life. There has never been much of an effort to remember me. My 36th year will be for letting go, forgetting more, leaving behind what disturbs my soul too much and wrapping up my long term plans. We get tired of always needing a reason.
“Into the woods, by the water, in the weeds.
Beneath a dark blanket of trees.
Soul is tired saving self…
Some lives here are worse than death.”
One of my trail photos. I feel welcome there most of all.
Taken just after a rain. An empty trail just for me.
I start training on my new job next week. I’m giving it a fair shot even though so much about it I’m doubtful about my ability now that I know more of the details, but as least I will have tried.
Allyson Marie Arts 