New Album – This Want for Better – Piano / Voice / Acoustic Guitar

Free download at link. Not as lyrically heavy as the last one, or as the next will be, but I had to fit this image. The album art is one of the last real paintings I took time with and it leaves me a little more hopeful I can start painting again one day the way I most loved to when I look at it. That freedom I really miss.

The Abuse Here -Original song

I tie-dyed the shirt I’m wearing in this video and wish I hadn’t had to cut the sleeves off after a mess up with the scissors… This song is not about abuse from a partner, but I wrote it with the abusive language I hear from leadership at my job all the time in mind. The studio version I put together has background vocals https://open.spotify.com/track/3Bq3ibqY7xjPnhPQ99AQRw?si=ee454d7085dc4dfa

Original song – To Bystanders – piano/voice

So far in my experience, when I’ve been at the lowest and let it be known, people seem to go out of their way to make it worse, as if to say go ahead and jump. So, I am grateful I don’t rely on people “saving” me from the suicidal depressions I fall into from time to time. This song is about more than just this exactly, but was an idea that sparked my writing. This video is from 2-3 months back.

Remember This Age – Original song Vocal / Guitar

I’m playing my guitar again. This is the first of two new songs. Not sure I’ll keep the title but whatever. Lyrics are below.

An awful shame to witness. 
Even God turns away. 
Lonesome soul drifting the dark, I need you to be saved. 

Just look how far you go.
How deep the blade sinks in.
Pretending you’re not lower than you’ve ever been. 

Where far enough is death. 
Where spill your veins fills up your head. 
So deep the blade sinks in. Lower than you’ve ever been.

Take me back, I beg you. Remember this age.
I have the faith your looking for. 
When life was not all pain.

Take me back, I beg you. Remember my face. 
The love you were deserving of 
Has not and will not change.

Take me back, I beg you. Remember this age.
I have the faith you’re dying for.
When life was not all hate.

Take me back, I beg you. Remember my face
I have the faith you’re dying for. 
Believe it’s not too late. It’s not too late. 

Original song “You Shun Me”

“To know me seems an unspeakable demand.” – I wrote this while thinking about how at 31 I ended up friendless and blatantly ignored by the people I do exist around. I try to reach out and it’s always a dead end. Best thing I could do was write a song about this constant and try to ignore how it won’t change. People aren’t the reason I choose to keep living.