“Hate all you want to hate, I have the final say”… I wrote this last year as I processed a response I received about my music. Someone mistakenly assumed I had the same insecurities about my voice that they lived with and it got me thinking about all the times we have to endure unasked for critiques of our art. I don’t go around looking for people to tell them how bad I think their work is. It’s truly going out of my way to do that. If you don’t like something, I say keep it moving until you find something worth your time and comment…lol Anyway, I’m happy with this piece and the challenge it was to record performing it and I want to share.
This videos is a few months old and the song, several years old, but I wanted a better video performing it. Most of my song lyrics are reworked lines right out of my journals. Years back when I was still looking for work, my days were spent writing little songs like this at my piano to pass the time and help me keep my sanity for being alone so many hours.
So different from my other songs and I loved arranging this one for the challenge it was. Initially I was going to leave it without vocals, but I had lyrics I’d written around the end of the year that seemed to fall into place perfectly with the sound so I went with it.
My heart has been heavy lately. I don’t know what I’m doing here or what is in store, or why it brings so much dread to consider these questions (should be no wonder when looking at the world we live in), but I still hope for clarity and strength within to endure whatever is finally revealed for me to act upon. And it is time for action now.
This picture is the cover of a card I made for my mother some weeks back, just because I love making people cards and I love her especially.
New 2021 song/video. Coping with life through song is the best way I could ask for right now. There is so much misery of all sorts in this world I wish I could do more to ease. I’m tired of watching those in a position to do more make the choice again and again not to.
Freehand painting on a scrap piece of brown paper bag one Sunday. I miss painting eyes and weird abstract stuff and this little piece brought some life back in me to return to what I love. I feel swamped with the amount of music I have to mix between working full time and finding spare moments to paint creatively is impossible right now. Then I ask myself what the point in bothering with any of this is anymore. I’m nobody and will always be nobody. Facts. Despite this though, it would feel like a crime to not follow through on these ideas I’ve already spent so much time on. If I still believe it’s worth those moments of attention and stress to see them through, then I have to keep going. I’m structuring a plan to tackle the mixing and final edits with the time I have and will even take off a few days to make sure it’s done right if I run into problems. And I’m excited to be able to share it all too still. Yes, there are still things to look forward to.
Recorded this song on a hot day back in September last year. The subject relates to the routine of how I experience the jobs I’ve had and the people I’ve seen along side me. The wearing away of the spirit in ways and how little things change or get better over time in dealing with people in charge.
I wrote this song when I was 17 and just wanted to play it again. The words won’t make any sense but neither did I at 17…lol Free studio version https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/track/the-cold-2
Songs straight from my old journal writings during the worst years. I wasn’t well at all, but glad to have had my piano then to help me pass the time. Free download on my bandcamp along with the other Entries collections: https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/…/3rd-entries-in-my…
You Have My Wings – I recorded this video about 2 months ago. The song is 7+ years old. Something I just wanted to share as I go through other old demos and see what I might want to re-work some day when there is time again. Free recorded version: https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/track/you-have-my-wings