This is a small painting I did as an insert for a frame after I took the mirror out to shatter for another project.
What am I still living for?
Sometimes the sadness is just breathtaking. What else can you do but wait through it? Pray it doesn’t kill you. Or sometimes, pray that it finally will.
This painting is one of few landscapes I’ve worked on. Landscape paintings generally would bore me to look at so I rarely thought it fun to paint my own, but I’m trying to change my mind about them by practicing with different scenes.
I think of freedom when I look at this painting and think about working on it. I’m content and settled when working art. I hate having to let that feeling go when I have to step away.
When talking about it just makes you feel worse.
– You tell me “Let go.
God will show. Have some hope. Be grateful.”
But I know it never did and never will work.
I feel cold. I sink low.
The shadow of fear grows.
There is no way to hold without hurt.
It never was and never will be worth
one more day. –
There is no point. Why suffer the loneliness anymore when I have a chance to decide when it ends? I really want it to end.