As Black History month comes to a close, I’m sharing a song written during the BLM protests in 2020. When I think about my family history, I’m reminded how I can only trace back so far and how I’ll never know exactly where my ancestors came from, all those unanswerable questions. I often feel like a black speck in the milk, out of place and rootless trying to navigate this unwelcoming society. But mostly this song is a response to those who don’t want people who look like me here. Guitar & voice. Also on streaming services.
Trying to recover
My mother painted the black and red brushstrokes of this heart and I added the other elements, made a card. It reminds me of bandaged flesh, something on the mend. I’m trying to recover now from the past 2 months, but I’m struggling and unsolicited hope / optimism is making it worse. Upsetting because it doesn’t work on me anymore.
I’m Disappearing – NPR TinyDesk contest 2022
This is my submission for the contest this year. I don’t expect to win but I thought this was a good one to enter with. Better than last year’s submission. This song relates to how changed or sick a person may obviously be, but those around them won’t approach the issue out of fear or other reasons. I’ve been that person being looked at before.
Sweet Flavor With A Bite
I never could figure a title for this one, but it reminds me of candy that has some sharpness to it. Or like a sweet personality that can also cut without warning.
Hopeful enough?
I start training on my new job next week. I’m giving it a fair shot even though so much about it I’m doubtful about my ability now that I know more of the details, but as least I will have tried.
Never Ever Known
An older song I just wanted to sing again. The line “Nobody is some lonesome one” is referencing a character of same name in Neil Gaiman’s novel The Graveyard Book.
The Piercing Eye
I used a circle piece of card board from a package for painting and used shards of some flawed custom CDs that I never threw out due to the image I’d put on them. I saw another life for those shards and a few found a place in this piece.
Link to the poster print: https://www.zazzle.com/the_piercing_eye_poster-228980864632015851
Self Affirm
New free hand painting I completed over the weekend. I haven’t done one of these in a long time, but it filled the days well as I wait to start my new job. It’s dedicated to having left an abusive work environment and hoping my next chapter is better. Knowing I’m worth better than what I left behind, despite how I was made to feel upon leaving. I won’t fall for that ever again.
Link to the print from my Zazzle shop : https://www.zazzle.com/self_affirm_poster-228904341017946114?rf=238144468071759617
HAVE IT BE TOLD
Another guitar piece from late summer. Music is one of very few safe spaces for my honesty. Shameful how dark at times, but turning away is not an option as long as I’m here.
Long Sleeved
Another tie-dye shirt. Long sleeve this time.
Allyson Marie Arts 