Quittance

This song was written about two years ago when I had to terminate with my long time therapist. I grieved. The video is almost as old and I hadn’t wanted to share until now.

Lyrics:

The only one willing to reach.
To speak when I could not breathe.
Through the past, through the pain.
Through nevers and need.
The only one willing to reach for me.

I’m sorry I lingered so long.
Between on the mend and something else wrong.
It’s under my skin. This unwelcome end.
Sick with shame to return where I’ve been.

But oh so still for the moment.
To say and not believe I’m well.
This sore bones, nightmare flavored rest.
This beaten silly kind of blessed,

Is under my skin, urging violence.
My own turn. Can’t I let go?
For as far as I’ve come – for however healed –
Alive as I am is not home.
Can’t I let go?

Another loss. I blame myself.
Grieving the loss. Hating what’s left.
No one stays is all we know.
My own turn. I’m letting go.
I’m letting go. I’m letting go.
All I know. Alive as I am is not home.
My own turn. I let go.
I let go. I let go.