Exit Interview – Tiny Desk Contest 2023

My entry for 2023 contest. I wrote this after leaving my job of 5+ years last year. I think my music in general is too dark for what they’re looking for in a winner, but it’s fine. I really have no show to put on for them or anyone else at this point.


Lyrics :
Cutting losses, speak my bones.
If it’s my fault, you should have known.
But who ever sees me? Who is warm to the cold?
I’m here dying all alone.

Feel the thought tear from inside.
Having to lie and lie and lie.
I matter more kept in the dark.
Waste what remains of my heart,

Because who ever saw me?
Who was warm? Who was warm to the cold?
I was here dying all alone.
You never saw me. Never warm for the cold.
I was here dying all alone.

Burning bridge, you are a gift.
I hurt and want nothing more from the end.
Burning bridge, you are a gift.
I hurt and want nothing more from the end.

Trying to recover

My mother painted the black and red brushstrokes of this heart and I added the other elements, made a card. It reminds me of bandaged flesh, something on the mend. I’m trying to recover now from the past 2 months, but I’m struggling and unsolicited hope / optimism is making it worse. Upsetting because it doesn’t work on me anymore.

New Album – This Want for Better – Piano / Voice / Acoustic Guitar

Free download at link. Not as lyrically heavy as the last one, or as the next will be, but I had to fit this image. The album art is one of the last real paintings I took time with and it leaves me a little more hopeful I can start painting again one day the way I most loved to when I look at it. That freedom I really miss.

The Abuse Here -Original song

I tie-dyed the shirt I’m wearing in this video and wish I hadn’t had to cut the sleeves off after a mess up with the scissors… This song is not about abuse from a partner, but I wrote it with the abusive language I hear from leadership at my job all the time in mind. The studio version I put together has background vocals https://open.spotify.com/track/3Bq3ibqY7xjPnhPQ99AQRw?si=ee454d7085dc4dfa

Original song – To Bystanders – piano/voice

So far in my experience, when I’ve been at the lowest and let it be known, people seem to go out of their way to make it worse, as if to say go ahead and jump. So, I am grateful I don’t rely on people “saving” me from the suicidal depressions I fall into from time to time. This song is about more than just this exactly, but was an idea that sparked my writing. This video is from 2-3 months back.