Tag: death

How Indeed – guitar / voice original

Posted on by Allyson

I wrote this song leading up to my departure from a very toxic work environment that changed me in ways I wish it hadn’t.

———–

Chose not to remember.
Won’t thank you for what you gave.
How indeed I’ve made it.
Kept myself an empty space.

Of course there is no knowing. But then again, there is.
Nothing about what I am was made for the surface.
Every breath scrapes the vessel walls, worn thin.
This unwilling arrival. The way hell was forced in.
Refuse weighing down my bones –
Voice bending bloody tones-
Quiet obedience set flames to all I know.
The sickness has grown bold.
Not about to say it’s okay, making it this far.
Not the heinous crime I needed stabbing at my heart.
Not about to say it’s settled and life is just too hard.
I implore the soul of all creation: tear this world apart.
Tear us apart.

I will not remember and never took what you gave.
How indeed I make it.
Keep myself an empty space.

Cold of the Earth

Posted on by Allyson

Cold of the Earth

Leave me where I stop.
Forget my beating heart as I lean into the drop.
Wanted as much as I never am alive.
Continue me, out of sight, out of mind.

The human ruin brought to life.
Pierce my skin. The blood will cry
I don’t matter. I am alone.
And all I ever wanted. Collect my bones.

Soul in the dark, you have my dream.
Cold of the earth has a place for me.

All the wants and needs and ways you try.
To bear failure and grieve is why.
Just continue me out of sight, out of mind.
Out of every single reason left to survive.

Soul in the dark, you have my dream.
Cold of the earth has a place for me.

https://allysonmarie.bandcamp.com/

Possessing

Posted on by Allyson

A spray painted background. I free handed this one and see different things when I look at it. Dancing with a ghost. Trying to kill a ghost. Being taken over by a ghost. Fending off possession. Something like that.

By Any Means

Posted on by Allyson

Spray painted background then free handed the rest. I have been stuck on a title, but think I’ve settled on “By Any Means” as in answering the question “how are you getting by?” Wondering about just how much it takes to stay propped up and moving through this life. Title might change but it works for now.

The Ending Must – New Album

Posted on by Allyson

Desperation to understand and the loss of hope is at the center of this album. Often there seems to be just inaction and unwillingness to risk a change when it comes to fixing problems in this world on top of very little will to fix what we can within ourselves (if we dare to see a problem at all). There may never be enough devastation or despair to move things along, but I hope to be wrong. I hope there’s an end one day that makes the difference.

Also available via most streaming platforms.

Every Single Moment Hurt – Original song

Posted on by Allyson

Recorded back in September.

Lyrics:

Haunted by the first. Give more blood than it’s worth.
A worried heartbeat set to burst,
And every single moment hurts.

Have mercy! Take the rest away.
Tomorrow need not know the shame.
How my days live for the night.
The ice to a carving knife.
And there’s no safer place.
This world I can’t take.

I know happier life died at my birth.
It’s this unspoken pain I serve.
All along, gathering nerve to breathe the flames.
You watch me burn.

As settled ashes, I’ll return.
The never here at all I’ve earned.
The unspoken pain I serve.
How every single moment hurt.

Every single moment hurt.
The never here at all…never here at all I’ve earned.

No One Escapes

Posted on by Allyson

“Her killing rage no one escapes.” I’ve got a little story in my head about this piece. I image this character towering over the world, breathing out flames to engulf all of human creation. On good days, there is a clearing for new life to begin again. On other days, our world goes dark and stays quiet that way until the universe ends. The painting is an expression of rage I feel better for and understand myself better through the work of it. I also really enjoyed another moment to use my neon pink…lol