Desperation to understand and the loss of hope is at the center of this album. Often there seems to be just inaction and unwillingness to risk a change when it comes to fixing problems in this world on top of very little will to fix what we can within ourselves (if we dare to see a problem at all). There may never be enough devastation or despair to move things along, but I hope to be wrong. I hope there’s an end one day that makes the difference.
Also available via most streaming platforms.Author: Allyson
See What Goes Wrong
This painting is small, 6in x 4in I think. Not sure I even have it anymore, but I think I understand what I was trying to say now when it was made. It is painful watching efforts come to nothing again and again. Things go wrong, then keep going wrong whether one can handle it or not. I hate it here most of the time, for real.
Every Single Moment Hurt – Original song
Recorded back in September.
Lyrics:
Haunted by the first. Give more blood than it’s worth.
A worried heartbeat set to burst,
And every single moment hurts.
Have mercy! Take the rest away.
Tomorrow need not know the shame.
How my days live for the night.
The ice to a carving knife.
And there’s no safer place.
This world I can’t take.
I know happier life died at my birth.
It’s this unspoken pain I serve.
All along, gathering nerve to breathe the flames.
You watch me burn.
As settled ashes, I’ll return.
The never here at all I’ve earned.
The unspoken pain I serve.
How every single moment hurt.
Every single moment hurt.
The never here at all…never here at all I’ve earned.
NEW BLOOMS
More flowers I folded out of unused coffee filters.
No One Escapes
“Her killing rage no one escapes.” I’ve got a little story in my head about this piece. I image this character towering over the world, breathing out flames to engulf all of human creation. On good days, there is a clearing for new life to begin again. On other days, our world goes dark and stays quiet that way until the universe ends. The painting is an expression of rage I feel better for and understand myself better through the work of it. I also really enjoyed another moment to use my neon pink…lol
Exit Interview – Tiny Desk Contest 2023
My entry for 2023 contest. I wrote this after leaving my job of 5+ years last year. I think my music in general is too dark for what they’re looking for in a winner, but it’s fine. I really have no show to put on for them or anyone else at this point.
Lyrics :
Cutting losses, speak my bones.
If it’s my fault, you should have known.
But who ever sees me? Who is warm to the cold?
I’m here dying all alone.
Feel the thought tear from inside.
Having to lie and lie and lie.
I matter more kept in the dark.
Waste what remains of my heart,
Because who ever saw me?
Who was warm? Who was warm to the cold?
I was here dying all alone.
You never saw me. Never warm for the cold.
I was here dying all alone.
Burning bridge, you are a gift.
I hurt and want nothing more from the end.
Burning bridge, you are a gift.
I hurt and want nothing more from the end.
The last of my flowers.
The rest of the coffee filter flowers I completed a few weeks ago.
Works in progress…
A page from the sketch book with two drawings I’m hoping to paint within the next few months.
In Red
My mother bought me this skull piece for birthday back in October. Not sure what it’s made of but it’s heavy and took the paint well. I had no ideas beyond wanting a bold color for this spot on top of my piano. Finished it with a gloss. I think it turned out cute.
Secret Garden 2- Coffee Filter Art
Another round of coffee filter flowers I’ve put together over the past few months.
Allyson Marie Arts 